Driving in Texas

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Razorback
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Driving in Texas

Postby Razorback » Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:01 am

Things to Know When Driving in Texas

* If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

* When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting in the way of any cross-traffic.

* Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Texas has its own version of traffic rules ... hold on and pray.

* There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Texas. We all drive like that.

* All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610" ... which has no beginning and no end.

* The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "Scenic Drive."

* The morning rush hour is from 6:00 AM to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

* If someone actually has their turn signal on, it's probably a factory defect.

* All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have total right-of-way.

* The minimum acceptable speed on any "Loop" is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

* Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.

* If you are in the left lane and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.

* When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Mexico.

* You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Texas residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.
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